2020 in a summary.

I can't believe it is almost at the end of 2020 where I finally get the chance to bid farewell for this year's full of tragic. It was only 2 months that we were able to live normally like we used to before the pandemic hit us globally. Oh how I miss socialising with people, go back to uni, having classes and most importantly I miss wearing makeup hahaha T_T feels like they have been sitting on my shelf for a quite long time. Um...speaking of any good events that happened throughout this year apart from hiking is probably nothing? Welp, I am currently in my first semester of second year of degree. It's still ODL 😭 Do I enjoy having classes online?  Hm, I would say 50-50 since I don't have to interact with people in real life and thanks to corona, I have becoming less confident to talk with people and it drains my energy to keep up with conversations or even to discuss the work that had been assigned for us to work together. The other part of me longing to meet people and having a proper gossip session with my friends not like gossiping virtually like we do now. 

Along the way, I met this special person, S. Technically, he is no longer special anymore since he decided to rebound me hahaha after finding out that he got back to his previous ex girlfriend and dumped me without a proper goodbye or explanation. But yeah, that is the perk of living. You meet people and their presence in your life could be either a blessing or a lesson. That S person might be a lesson for me. A lesson so that I won't be easily to let people in. Good thing is that the sadness I felt lasted only for 2 days ahaha and he's gone from my life for good. Oh and this year too, I made a lot of selfish decision that I never thought  I would benefit from doing that but it did make me feel much better. I cut ties with people who drained my energy and the amount of effort I gave in to them was not a par as I received. I let go of things that had been dragging me down and I did a lot of out-of-my-comfort-zone things. Most of my decision, I know it might be unfair to some people related but I guess I have been unfair to my own self for long enough that I must do what I need to do to keep myself at peace. And I honestly never felt a lot better and calm now.

As for my last post, I'm just hoping that 2021 will bring more joys and happiness to me and start to focusing on myself more, work for myself, by myself, to myself. Everything from tiniest to biggest thing I do is for myself! I won't tolerate if people are going to say I'm fucking selfish bitch because I am. For the longest time I have been enduring with people's shit and it's time to put an end to it. May 2021 will be good as fuck. 

Till then,

Alea 💕